Sleep

I'm mostly writing this post for me.  I think it will be cathartic to write it down, and maybe look back when (or IF) we have another baby.  And, if any of you can sympathize with anything I write about and want to share words of wisdom, feel free.  I welcome it!

I first noticed something was off when at 3 weeks, Teo stopped sleeping during the day.  Once I figured out the combination of soothing techniques he needed, he started to fall asleep pretty easily.  However, when I would go to lay him down, he would wake up with a start.  I would let him fuss for a bit, but then fuss turned to wails, and I would rush to pick him up.  Often, he would fall back asleep the instant I cradled him in my arms.  Subsequent tries at laying him down were unsuccessful, and so for a while (like 2 months), I succumbed to letting him sleep in my arms. 

I also must point out that in the last month or so, feeding him during the day has become hellish and as a result, it has no longer been easy to put him to sleep.  My theory is that feeding him makes him sleepy, and he fights that feeling.  He will pull away from the bottle, arching his back in protest, but then go right back to the nipple to suck vigorously for 2-3 sucks, then repeat the process.  If I last long enough, about halfway through the bottle, he will calm down, and usually fall asleep, but then we go back to the issue of him not being able to sleep anywhere except where he fell asleep-in my arms. 

I am now at the point where I know something needs to change.  At four months, he already is forming bad habits.  It's obvious to me that he cannot fall asleep on his own, and cannot fall back asleep once he wakes up.  I honestly don't know if it was my fault for not putting him down sleepy and letting him stay down longer than it took for him to peep out in protest when he woke up.  I know that is what the concensus is, meaning, put the baby down sleepy so he can learn to fall asleep on his own, but I've just always picked Teo up the minute he starts protesting because I didn't want him to get so worked up that he wouldn't go back to sleep when he really needed to sleep!

I have read tons of stuff online, talked to friends and family, read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and I came to the conclusion that I was going to let him cry it out at nap time.  Is there another way to go about teaching a baby that he needs to sleep in his crib and to teach him to fall back asleep if he wakes up?  If you have some magic potion, please let me know because the last 2 1/2 days have been horrendous.  My mom is great.  She keeps telling me she thinks it's working, but I'm skeptical.  Not to bore you with details, but it hasn't worked yet.  He hasn't cried himself to sleep.  The time he has cried hasn't lessened.  I started by letting him cry for an hour.  Fabio and I would go in periodically to check on him, reassure him, but it seemed to make things worse.  Today, I let him cry for 30 minutes and then caved.  The second I picked him up, he fell asleep, I laid him back down, he woke up five minutes later.  That happend 3 times.  3 TIMES!  Maybe I just should have let him cry after he woke up again, but after 5 minutes of ear piercing screams, I caved.  He's so hysterical.  It's so sad.  And, I'm not convinced it's going to work.  Everyone I know who has done this says they have seen improvements by day 2/3.  I'm not seeing any.

The other thing I haven't mentioned is that sometimes when I put him down asleep (like dead asleep) and he doesn't wake up, he will sleep, but NEVER for more than 30 minutes.  I have read that a nap less than 30 minutes doesn't count, that by 4 months, babies should sleep for at least an hour.  Unless he's sleeping on me, that NEVER happens.  Sometimes, when I go get him after he's been sleeping for 30 minutes, he's clearly still sleepy because he will either fall right back asleep when I pick him up, or he will be cranky again anywhere from 20-30 minutes later.

I have a pediatrician appt. on Wednesday, but I'm not so foolish to think she'll have all the answers, or that she'll really want to spend the time needed to discuss Teo's sleeping habits with me.  Believe me though, I am going to make myself sound as desperate as I feel.

I must say, in his defense, he can sleep great at night.  We have had great nights, and horrendous nights, but he is definitely capable of sleeping from 6/7 - 1/2, eating, then going back down for another 3-4 hours.  He is certainly not consistent about this, but I must give him credit for his good nights.  I'm trying at night to put him down as soon as his feeding is done and letting him fall back asleep.  He's been minorly successful at this.  Last night, after 45 minutes, I had to go into his room and pick him up, but he fell right asleep and when I put him down, he slept for another 2 hours. 

I just don't know why he goes to bed fine at night, but during the day, he just can't manage to stay asleep, or even fall asleep on his own when he is clearly exhausted, well fed and dry.

I'm not interested in putting him in the swing, carseat or bouncer anymore.  He is getting too big for that, and quite frankly, I want him to associate sleep with the crib and sleeping flat.  I need a long term solution here.  Not a band-aid.

Maybe I have nothing to worry about, but I'm pretty sure, it's not healthy for a 4 month old to not be napping in his crib for atleast a few hours a day.  Lately, on a normal day, he naps for anywhere from 1 hour -1.5 hours.

So, there are my ramblings.  All that said, I love my little Teo.  He is so sweet and cute and usually very smiley and interactive.  Today, he is 4 months old, and we love him more than ever. I would just really like some answers, whatever they are!